Sunday, May 23, 2010

Thoughts after the Nashville Flood

I know I've fallen behind on posting monthly updates. I've actually fallen behind on quite a few things. I really don't think it's due to the busyness that comes with the school year ending, preparing for dd's dance recital, or even trying to keep up with the workload of my day job. Honestly, this flood has affected me more than you would anticipate.

Yes...we've been thrown into an immediate "home repair" project which leads to chaos inside the house and that unsettling feeling when checks are flying out the door faster than you can keep up with them. It's strange how each individual reacts differently to crisis.

My husband has been short on patience because of the "mess" that comes with trying to live in a space that the flooring and baseboards are ripped out, tools and saws sitting around everywhere, everything out of place, laborers that don't do their work exactly the way he would. That is the chaos that makes him crazy. (The good news is that he's 100+ days sober...although there were a few days I highly encouraged him to leave the house and hit an AA meeting ASAP).

On the other hand, it drives me absolutely crazy to have this project going with no pre-planned budget, uncertainty just where the funds are going to come from, or exactly how many dollars it's actually going to cost! So I've suffered from my own dose of stress and anxiety. And, in typical fashion, I've done my best to ignore the whole checking account for the past three weeks.

But more than that, it's the stories out there of those who have lost everything. I think they call it "survivor's guilt". The stories that really hit my heart are the elderly (70 and 80 year olds) with paid-for homes who were just getting by with their Social Security checks. Now some don't even have home to go back to and others don't have the savings to restore what's left into a safe and habitable place. To think that their entire financial well-being has been destroyed by something no one ever saw coming is just beyond what my brain can fathom right now. Because I'm one of those weirdos that actually reads the public record section of the newspaper occasionally, last week I found out that some of my closest neighbors were just days away from foreclosure. Although we're close, we really don't discuss financial issues, and I'm not comfortable bringing it up with them. But I spent a couple of days in constant worry and even one night where I dreamed of nothing but mortgages, loan balances, courthouse steps and more mortgages. Talk about a nightmare!!!

Anyway, it's kind of been three weeks where the glass feels even more "half-empty" than usual. I'm trying to dig my way out of the funk because I know that pessimism doesn't help any of us!

Updates to come later in the week. It's getting late, and I definitely don't need to start off another busy week more sleep deprived than usual. I do hope it's a good week for you!

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